The Never Ending Pot of Pork Soup

My parents are visiting this week to help me with the kids. My husband is on a business trip in Texas and I have a lot of things to do.

I decided to stir-fry some pork. My intentions were to make sweet and sour pork stir-fry. The outcome, something which went very awry.




First, I thought I would add some cornstarch to the pork pieces because I read somewhere it makes a thicker sauce. Perhaps I put too much cornstarch on it, perhaps I starting shaking the white powdery substance on top and couldn't seem to stop. (I'm not admitting to anything.)

In any case, it looked like boiled squeegee pork when I was done with it.

So then everything started going in the pot. (I'm not sure if you read about my attempt at making Indian samosas and the green goop that unfortunately followed. It isn't a pretty sight when hell breaks loose in my kitchen and I start adding things.)

I added chopped vegetables into the pot along with oregano, cumin, Italian Spices, oh and I found leftover (maybe) expired chicken stock in the refrigerator, then I had to add another container because there wasn't enough liquid, and the nasty chopped celery my mom brought up from South Bend (even though I didn't want to but she would know if I threw it away) and by the end of it --- I had a soup.

I let go of a huge sigh when I was done. What the hell did I make? Nothing was going to save this pork and instead I made a great soup surrounding nasty pork pieces. Ugh.

So for the past two days (since I added everything in the refrigerator practically) we have had this pork soup. I am so tired of it yet I don't want to waste food.

When my parents and daughter ate it for the first time they were wondering what kind of meat was in this soup. My daughter thought it surely had to be chicken brains, my dad's bet was on under-cooked chicken. (No, it's pork people, PORK!)

So the never ending pork soup is still in the refrigerator waiting for yet another day and another lunch. Now if my husband were here, I could somehow pawn it off on him. But he is on the business trip. My daughter is picky, my son spits it out onto the floor, my dad can barely chew the pork (he's 80 and can't even chew lettuce) and my mom will say, "It's okay" in a nonchalant tone and then I'll find it dumped in the garbage with paper plates on top to hide it.

Even my dog won't eat a piece of that pork.

Lesson learned: Always - measure - cornstarch!

There Are Lessons Everywhere: Cutie Pie

Beautiful Cutie Pie

Last night, Cutie Pie, our FIV cat with the kidney and liver problems took a turn for the worse. He no longer moved a lot and when we tried to pick him up he would growl because it was painful. His belly was bloated because we gave him fluids and his body wasn't absorbing them. It wasn't looking good for him.

I held him until 3 in the morning and we didn't expect him to live through the night. He did and in the morning we made the hard decision to put him to sleep. We first asked the doctor if there was anything at all we could do. But our cat was in pain and some of the light was gone from his eyes. He looked uncomfortable and defeated.

If you have ever had to put an animal to sleep it is horrible. But it is necessary because I have also let pets die naturally because I couldn't give up and hoped for a miracle. It was the wrong decision.

Seeing a pet in severe pain, dying, is wretched. The sounds which they make can stay with you. So I had to put him to sleep before that happened. With his organs shutting down it would have been pretty bad. I had to do the right thing even if I didn't want to go through it. To me though, being with a pet (or human) when they pass away is important. You want them to see someone they love when the last light goes out of their eyes. For them to know you love them enough to be there in their most difficult and final time.

So I am very sad. I feel like today I'm in the twilight zone. With every pet I have lost (and there have been a lot the past ten years) and when our baby lived for a day, after it was all over, I felt like the day went on as usual, people busy and living life, but the day for me was going in slow motion. I felt like, everything that goes on in the world doesn't truly matter. The only thing which does are the relationships we have (pet and people alike) and how we love and care for others.

Anyway, there is a small lesson in this experience I would like to share with you. As mentioned, I feel very sad about losing him and I wish there had been something more we could have done. But as I was feeling bad, I realized I had asked God to please let him live past our Christmas vacation when we were gone for a week and he was boarded at the animal hospital. And he did live. The doctor was surprised at how strong he was. I begged God to let him come home and spend a little more time here instead of die in a hospital. He did. I got to hold him for a whole week, I got to hold him his last few hours, and I got to be there when he took his last breath. All of these were blessings which didn't seem likely. But he held on.

I could look at the overall end, my cat is gone and he died. But I also choose to look at how lucky I was to have a little more time with him and even though it was horrible to go through, he had a loving and graceful ending. There were four people petting him when he was injected and he purred to the very end. And after the light went out of his eyes, somehow the door to the examination room was opened and the song, In the Arms of An Angel, played on the radio in the front room. It has always been a special song to me (a story for another time) and it just seemed like it was a sign, he would be okay.

So even in the worst circumstances, it is possible to see a blessing somewhere. It is hard but this is how we get through life, knowing even in our most difficult times, God is looking after us - even if it's just a little.

Growing Up and Growing Cold

Olivia doing her homework

It has been a virtual ice land in the Midwest and with school closings because of frigid temperatures we have been inside for the past three days. It really has been nice. My husband is working from home because of it so with all of us stuck here and most businesses closed, we have been "made" so to speak to spend more time with each other instead of going everywhere: lessons, grocery store, work, school, and activities.

It is actually 2 degrees outside. 2! And I had to post the following because I thought it was hilarious. We finally had to venture outside for necessities like milk and stuff for the toddler and I asked my 7 year-old daughter to get dressed so we can leave. (She loves to wear comfy pajamas in the house.) She comes back to the living room with a long sweater and shorts. Yes, shorts!

"You're not wearing those are you?"
"Yeah, why not? I have on a sweater and I'm going to wear my long coat. They'll cover my legs."
I started laughing hysterically. I just couldn't help it. "Do you know how cold 2 degrees is!"

Sometimes, I think my daughter is growing up too fast. She is at a transitional age where Disney princesses are no longer interesting and video games and Disney teen shows are the new replacement. She isn't in to pink anymore but leopard and zebra prints. She doesn't want me to braid her hair and favors makeup and "cool" things. In the past two months, she graduated from having me help her take a shower to doing it herself. It's nice but it also means she is growing up. But when she says cute things or doesn't realize something like how cold it is outside for shorts, it is a nice little reminder she is still young.

They grow up so fast.

Olivia

Olivia

Olivia

Noah

Noah

Noah

Noah and a tired big sister

Surprise!

Just went to Arby's to go to the restroom while traveling to Canada. First I had to slip and slide down the newly mopped hallway to the restroom. Then I open the bathroom door and there is a worker sitting on the stool. She screams, I scream, and I hurry and shut the door. Me, always saying the wrong things in awkward moments say through the door, "Don't worry, we all have the same parts."      

She comes out and to try to make her feel better I say, "I didn't really see anything." Even though I did. "I just screamed because you did and I thought something major was happening."    

Needless to say, I couldn't look her in the face when I went to order my small chocolate mint shake. (If you are one of the many who like chocolate mint ice cream you know you're a freak about it and at Christmas time mint is everywhere!)

So I turned and watched football stats on the TV behind me which if you know me, that's a joke. The only time I watched a football game was when I twirled Flags for Purdue football and I would fall asleep on my hand out in the hot sun on the bleachers.

Finally, after what seemed like 20 minutes to make a shake, she said it was ready. I didn't know what to say to her, I mean I couldn't say sorry that I saw your whole backside. So I just said, "Thank you." She must have not been too angry because she gave me a large shake instead of a small.

So in closing, if you want free food or a larger size order all you have to do is to see an employee half naked in the restroom. But is it worth it? Probably not.

Going to Grandma's House

Noah at the Indiana State Fair

We are going to visit my husband's parents in Canada. It has been probably a year and a half since we've seen them and we are bringing Noah.

To get them prepared, we sent an email telling them to put everything which is breakable away and to lock the cabinet under the sink which contains dish washing soaps. Oh, and to also make sure the knives are put far enough away from the kitchen counter.

You see we have a toddler, plus he is overactive, and he doesn't sit still and he LOVES discovering things which he is not supposed to get into. He loves knives too, but it really is because he wants to cut things. Not people. Like apples and play dough. (Thank God.)

I fear they have no idea what is coming for them.

Noah is adorable. He is lovable. He is hilarious and is sure to be a comedian the way he loves to make people laugh. I love him and he is a mommy's boy. But he is also daring, impulsive, inquisitive, and obstinate.

Yesterday, I went to pay the cashier for his toddler pass to the gym. He took off running down the hallway, not looking back, going full throttle to make it to the racquetball courts. I chased after him, leaving my purse on the counter. Finally we get back and the cashier has me sign the credit card receipt. I let go of his hand and he takes off again, full throttle, for the racquetball courts. "You have your hands full," the cashier tells me. Don't I know it.

I am hoping it is a phase. That when he understands words he will suddenly realize it is not good to run off with abandonment. Maybe it is not a good idea to pull his sister's hair. And maybe it would be easier on mommy and daddy if he didn't scream when people are praying in church. Just maybe he will.

People don't believe me when I say he is high energy. They think, "He is just a toddler." But then when they take care of him, they know. He is very active. I know l00% he will never have a desk job. He is going to be a mountain climber or a builder. He will be going sky diving and race car driving completely for fun. Something definitely outdoors. When he was a baby we would sit outside and he would never, not once, cry. I've never seen a baby take to the outdoors like he has.

I try to remember it will get easier. He will eventually learn to be a little safer. If he ends up having hyperactivity or ADD, it is okay. I had a baby die at 8 months when I was pregnant. Give me a child with any type of problem over having one that dies, it is a blessing.

I just hope things go well in Canada. I hope they are prepared for the little whirlwind who is coming. He is crazy adorable but he is non-stop. It's just how it is. Wish us luck. They are going to be exhausted when we leave.

My Story Has Been Published

One of my stories has been published! A few months ago I read an ad on the Indiana writing website calling for submissions for a book they were doing about Indiana state parks. If chosen, it would be published in an anthology containing stories and poems from many contributing authors. Well, I grew up in Indiana and I attended those state parks. I thought, here we go!

The short story is about my camping trips with my dad at Shades State Park. Of course, it is done in my style and includes the harrowing experience I had with a crazy rabid raccoon family in the middle of the night. 

It just came out so I haven't received my copy yet but if you are from Indiana or like to go camping you may enjoy it.





Here is the website http://sellpros.wix.com/parkpoems1 and yes, there is my name, Debbie Kollar. Or, you can go on Amazon.com. The great thing is all of the proceeds go to help school children visit state parks to learn about nature and wildlife.

Whatever the case, I'm in. I can now say I am a published author in a book no less. I can say I have had an ongoing published column which people actually read. I can say I have had a blog, which pretty much anyone can have, right! I can even say I have had fan mail from my column, well two letters, but they made me feel wonderful. 

Yes, I am a writer. I am not perfect and I am slow going but I'm getting somewhere. I don't know what the future holds but if I want to get anywhere pertinent I'm going to have to work for it. I have never been one for good fortune to fall into my lap.

When I look back on my life there is a continually thread. I still have the poetry book I made in third grade. In junior high, my stories were published in an ongoing column in the school newspaper. But get this, because it will at least provide you with a laugh. They were soap opera stories! As a 7th/8th grader I was writing soap opera short stories about men and women in love. I don't have a copy from back then but I'm sure they are hilarious! 

In high school since I didn't have any money, I made up poems for my sister and brothers, wrote them on parchment paper with a calligraphy pen and framed them. Quite cheesy but I think a few of them still have it. I also had a story published in a high school book which I don't remember writing. When I worked at United Airlines in South Bend, I wrote for the company's newsletter and did exposes on the people who worked there. Then when I went to Catholic Charities, besides doing social work, I had a column in Keenager News. A newspaper which also contained articles from Monsignor Boland and Cardinal George.

You know we all have heard this before, try and find your purpose in life or what you should be doing. I can tell you how and if you don't see it, email me and I will be able to show you what it is. I think God or the universe or something shows us but most times we don't want to listen or see it because we are scared to fail, to succeed, or how much work it will take to get there.

Look at your life and see what threads or connections you have? Maybe you were always good at putting things together, figuring out how it worked, solving problems, and you felt wonderful when you did. Along the way, you won the science fair, you built a bookcase for the 4H fair, you always gravitated to discovering, building, and making things. You see where I am going? From the time we are young, we all have something which we come back to. Like my daughter. She is only 7 but I see her pathway emerging. She always gravitates towards arts and crafts. She watches You Tube for an hour just to learn how to build an outfit for a barbie doll out of duct tape. She will pick an art class or painting over her favorite show and considering how much she likes television, that is saying something. At the parent/teacher conference her teacher notices how great she draws. You see, we all have the answers of what we are supposed to be doing and it started when we were young and in some cases either we forget, our parents want us to go in a different direction, or we grow up and have family or financial responsibilities which preclude us from going down that path. What I'm asking you is, what path were you supposed to take? Only a few are lucky enough to be doing exactly what they want to in life. 

Every now and then it seems something comes along to show me my way. I just have to fight for it, harder than I have been. We all have dreams and many people tell us we can't do it. Most times it is us, telling ourselves, it is too hard. Here is the thing, the hard truth of it all. The more time we wait to work hard for something whether it's to change careers, write a book, get in shape, or take that dream vacation to Paris (anything you really want in life but feel you can't have) the more time passes until we wake up one day and realize how much time we have wasted. We have to continually work harder than we thought we could for what we truly want in life. We only have one lifetime to do it.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

– George Eliot