Bite-Size Brown Bits of Joy

Now I have heard of individually wrapped chocolates, individually wrapped popsicles and even individually wrapped pieces of cheese, but individually wrapped prunes? Where does one even start with this?

Sunsweet, a company that produces and sells most of the dried fruit and juices that you see in grocery stores came out with a new product Sunsweet Ones. The hype: you can now buy your prunes individually wrapped! Boy, how lucky we are that science and technology has advanced us.

The upscale bourgeois eat with your pinkie up name:

Pitted Dried Plums

The name which parents used when they made us eat them:

Prunes!

I still remember when I ate my first prune as a child. It was like eating a beetle, once you bit through the tough skin, the ooze came out. I pointed to the roof of my mouth where it had stuck itself and yelled, "Yucky!"

And where does one eat these "individually wrapped" prunes?

People at offices bring in goodies to their fellow coworkers all of the time; candies, cookies, and especially chocolate if you work with a bunch of women. But who is going to be the one to bring in a can of these babies and say, "Would you like an individually wrapped pitted dried plum?"

And the parties. "There's a bowl of Cheetos and a bowl of prunes on the table. Help yourself and enjoy." But as one website mentioned, "Prunes are well known for their ability to prevent constipation." (Which may be a hint that it isn't such a good party or group food if you don't want your bathroom stool in use for the whole night.)

The product is actually targeted to people who want a boost of energy and vitamins without gaining weight. But let's be truthful, if you are starving and trying to lose weight it's not a prune you want to reach for, nor do you want to take the umpteen seconds it takes to unwrap just one. No, if you are starving, you'll be taking the half an hour it would require to unwrap each individual one from the can, just to feel semi-full.

And then of course

running to the bathroom.

So I ask you? Would you buy and then take the time to individually unwrap a delectable, downsized, delicious Prune?

And what's next?

Individually wrapped raisins?

(And since it's Halloween and all, try putting one in the kiddies napsack or jack-o-lantern on Halloween night when they ring the doorbell and say, "Trick-or-treat".

And then you can reply, "Here's a nice delicious individual prune for you."

I'm sure they will just love it. Now your house may be egged at a later point in time, but I can't be responsible for that.)