Getting Ready for the Loony Bin

For my friends outside of the U.S. the loony bin is the insane asylum and that's where I'm going. Today, my daughter is on vacation with my sister so I thought I would take the time (which I haven't done in a long time) to work on my story, Finding Hope. I went upstairs to my office where I haven't been in a week and surprise, I have elder bugs all over. They are everywhere outside in August, usually in massive quantity. Apparently, they get in through the windows and lucky me, half of them were on top of each other mating. Great.

First, I freaked out, then I grabbed Kleenex after Kleenex, and started killing all 20 some of them. I went to wash my hands, came back and there were two more. Got them. Went to wash my hands and there were four more. Went to wash my hands and there were . . .yes, you guessed it more and more and more.

This happened about 10 times before I did what any woman would do, I called my husband, screaming. "You have to do something! There are about twenty of them all over and I killed them and now there are more and they keep on coming and ah, there's one on my book. Take that you MF. And they're breeding. And they won't stop coming!"  It was like an invasion movie on television and I was the blonde bimbo screaming "help, help" when the monster was a little bug.

And of course he said, "What do you want me to do? I'm at work."

So I did the next best thing. I called my parents and my dad's reply was, "What do you want me to do? I'm in Indiana."

Now I am in my office, trying to write and every ten seconds I glance around for bugs. Meanwhile, my baby, who is in the bouncy chair next to me, has learned it is fun to throw things on the floor and have mommy pick them up. It has now become a ritual, he throws it down, I pick it up, he throws it down, I pick it up. So in between looking up for bugs and picking up a constantly dropped toy, I try to write. Ready for the insane asylum? Yes, I think I am.

Where's that stupid tissue, there's another bug. Freakin' A.