Ten Things

Kriss, a fellow blogger, had tagged several of us to post ten known facts:

I hate dipped food. Ever since my daughter first learned that food can be dipped, EVERYTHING has to be dipped: in ketchup, in mustard, dipped in ranch dressing and in any kind of liquid, spread or configuration which something can be dipped in. Last week, on a long tumultuous two hour drive, we had to get something for dinner on the way. Looking for the easy way out, we went to McDonalds. For twenty minutes, I had to continually turn around and present my daughter with sauce for her chicken McNuggets or she cried. (I would never trust a 21 month-old with holding honey mustard sauce in the backseat of a car.) After many times of turning around, I realized, she wasn’t eating the chicken, she was just licking the sauce off. There wasn’t any chicken being eaten at all.

I laugh continually when I read the book I've almost written which either means it’s a damn good book or I’m a borderline lunatic.

I love chocolate, way too much. But what woman doesn’t, really?

I hate changing diapers so much that my husband has probably changed 75 percent of them. Especially the stinky ones.

I hate going to bed because I don’t want tomorrow to come.

I never thought I would be a baby person but I fell in love with my daughter when she smiled at me. And gradually, when I see babies, I’ve now become the motherly schmoozy person by saying, “Ah, look at that baby!” Before I was like, “Yeah, so what?”

I’m way to idealistic for my own good. I believe everyone should operate on a basic of good ethics, sound principles and a kind heart and many times, because of this idealism, I’m let down.

My greatest luck came about with my husband. He looks at me like I’m the best thing that happened since apple pie. And everyone should have someone who thinks they are better than apple pie!

I believe in God and that we should be tolerant of all religions, sexual orientations, differences of opinions and life as long as it doesn’t cause physical harm to others. Who are we to be so sanctimonious to judge others and then use God as the catch phrase for the reasoning behind what constitutes as our own opinions or translations of what he stands for.

I am a grouchy Christmas customer. I now like Christmas shopping for the first twenty minutes. By the time I have been poked, ran over by a cart, stood in a long line for some “limited release” toy, have seen too many people drop stuff in stores and not pick it up and have been ran over by people in a hurry and people not keeping the flow moving in the aisles, I say, “forget this” and I grab the closest present on the shelf and I’m gone. So what if Grandma is going to get an electric knife in a dented box that was on the clearance shelf next to the front lobby. After Christmas, she can be my guest and mosey on over to take it back with her walker in tow and peruse the limitless aisles in search of a left over fruit cake or a foot warmer.

(Actually, I don’t have a Grandma. I’m not THAT mean.)

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday weekend was great! Yesterday, we went to see Wicked, the untold story of the witches of Oz. There was a man that laughed like a horse throughout the whole musical who sat next to my husband, but other than that, it was pretty damn good. Well worth the bazillion American Express points it took to see it.

Then we went to the Melting Pot for a four course fondue dinner. Today, we went to see the movie, The Golden Compass and then to Sam's Club to get groceries. (Okay the Sam's Club thing wasn't so great but hey, you have to eat.)

And tonight, I am blowing out my candles and making a big ol' wish. Perhaps it'll be the typical Miss America beauty pageant wish for "world peace" however, I doubt it.

Congratulations Olivia!

This is a professional picture and cannot be copied

On Halloween, after trick-or-treating, we entered the mall's Costume Contest. Each child had to go on stage and model their costume. When her time came, Olivia (dressed as a lady bug) walked on the stage by herself, gave her card to the announcer, went to the front where the judges sat and gave a big toothy grin.

She actually came in first for the Cutest Costume out of 100 plus children who entered. Way to go Olivia!

I learned three things:

1. I am of course very proud of her ability to make even the grumpiest people smile.

2. Cracker Barrel has become the newest and greatest place to buy halloween costumes. (Go figure.)

3. I've turned into one of "those" parents.

The Lost Child

To those who left us behind too early

Yet so visually have never escaped our minds

We wait in anticipation for the day

When remembrance becomes completion

And we shall be reunited

As if time had never passed

And love was never lost

-D.K.

(For Jackie)

Bite-Size Brown Bits of Joy

Now I have heard of individually wrapped chocolates, individually wrapped popsicles and even individually wrapped pieces of cheese, but individually wrapped prunes? Where does one even start with this?

Sunsweet, a company that produces and sells most of the dried fruit and juices that you see in grocery stores came out with a new product Sunsweet Ones. The hype: you can now buy your prunes individually wrapped! Boy, how lucky we are that science and technology has advanced us.

The upscale bourgeois eat with your pinkie up name:

Pitted Dried Plums

The name which parents used when they made us eat them:

Prunes!

I still remember when I ate my first prune as a child. It was like eating a beetle, once you bit through the tough skin, the ooze came out. I pointed to the roof of my mouth where it had stuck itself and yelled, "Yucky!"

And where does one eat these "individually wrapped" prunes?

People at offices bring in goodies to their fellow coworkers all of the time; candies, cookies, and especially chocolate if you work with a bunch of women. But who is going to be the one to bring in a can of these babies and say, "Would you like an individually wrapped pitted dried plum?"

And the parties. "There's a bowl of Cheetos and a bowl of prunes on the table. Help yourself and enjoy." But as one website mentioned, "Prunes are well known for their ability to prevent constipation." (Which may be a hint that it isn't such a good party or group food if you don't want your bathroom stool in use for the whole night.)

The product is actually targeted to people who want a boost of energy and vitamins without gaining weight. But let's be truthful, if you are starving and trying to lose weight it's not a prune you want to reach for, nor do you want to take the umpteen seconds it takes to unwrap just one. No, if you are starving, you'll be taking the half an hour it would require to unwrap each individual one from the can, just to feel semi-full.

And then of course

running to the bathroom.

So I ask you? Would you buy and then take the time to individually unwrap a delectable, downsized, delicious Prune?

And what's next?

Individually wrapped raisins?

(And since it's Halloween and all, try putting one in the kiddies napsack or jack-o-lantern on Halloween night when they ring the doorbell and say, "Trick-or-treat".

And then you can reply, "Here's a nice delicious individual prune for you."

I'm sure they will just love it. Now your house may be egged at a later point in time, but I can't be responsible for that.)

To Get You in the Mood for Halloween

You have to click on the link below and see these pictures from a fellow friend's website showing "Why Pets Hate Halloween"

Hilarious and definitely worth the time. I promise.

And if that doesn't scare you, you can always scroll down and look at Phil Spector's picture again.

http://zookins.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/why-pets-hate-halloween/