January 4, 2012

Oh, Those Dang New Year's Resolutions!

This morning I woke up at 6 A.M. to start some of my resolutions.

For the first time in years, I made a real breakfast with omelets, toast, and a fruit smoothie for my family instead of pouring cereal or toasting a bagel. Well, who knew you can't make an omelet with 8 eggs and vegetables and it not get done in 5 minutes. So we had scrambled eggs instead. (Besides, I can never get it to flip over right.) To tell you the truth, I don't make very good eggs. The dogs ate half of them.

Another resolution, make sure the dogs get to have a walk everyday. Last night, I put on my Eskimo coat I never use (a friend gave it to me and it's covered in fur, and I don't do fur but it's warm) and took the dogs out for a walk at yes, 11:30 P.M. in the freezing cold. I walked them up and down our small street, watching for any strange man or big white van suddenly jolting to a stop to snatch me up, dogs and all. And I said to myself, watching everyone in their warm houses with their lights off and probably asleep, "What the hell am I doing?" But you know, it's good for the dogs and it's good for me and finding time to get out of the house is pretty non-existent. So in order to get out of the house, if I have to walk the dogs during the graveyard shift up and down our block in a burly fur coat, so be it.

Getting back to this morning, I was quite proud of myself that I gave my daughter a good breakfast, got her dress, painted her nails and even put little flowers on them and got her to school ON TIME. While I was making breakfast, I asked my husband if he could walk the dogs. So he got their leashes and walked the dogs again down the street and back.

This pride in myself lasted until I dropped my daughter off at school and got back. I fell asleep. I slept (in between watching Escape to Chimp Eden, three bottle feedings and several diaper changings) from 9 A.M. to 5:30 P.M. My goal was to be super woman and get the house cleaned, renew library books, and get my sleeping schedule back on track. Well, obviously it didn't work this day! (In my defense I was up all night. Couldn't sleep. Once it took me a year to get back on track.) So here I go again tonight, walking the dogs at 11:00 P.M. at night in my Eskimo coat up and down the small little street. I told my husband that as many times as we walk those dogs up and down the same street (because it's dang cold), they are never going to get lost.

Why do we make resolutions? To feel hopeful. I asked my husband if he was making any resolutions (well, ones that I don't make for him :o) and he said no, he doesn't believe in them, "What's the point." I told him it makes us assess what we want in life, how to be better, gives us hope that we can make our lives better. I know, sounds like a "I've Got a Dream" speech and I think he was already in the other room by the time I finished my little New Year's speech.

So here is to tomorrow. Where I'm going to wake up again and try to make my family a good breakfast, get my daughter to school on time and try to stay awake to the appointed time normal people go to sleep. More than likely, I'll be walking those dogs at 11:30 P.M. again, in that Eskimo coat hoping that the next day, I will be able to get things on track. With resolutions it's not always about being perfect but knowing we can do something to make our lives better and at least, trying.