October 2, 2012

The Unspoken Vows of Marriage

Yes, if you are married, you know the drill.
For better or worse, until death do you part  . . . and any added unmentionables.

For men, here are the unspoken vows.
1. I will get sucked into your hobbies, even if I don't want to.
2. I will carry your purse when you ask, even if I'm embarassed. But I will not go into your purse. I have limits.
3, I will buy your "monthly" things as long as I can hide them in the cart.
4. I will take out the garbage although I don't find it fun AT ALL.
5. I will give up every space in the house so you can decorate it, design it, fill it, and use it, whatever way you so deem, even when I have to give up my man cave for your craft and scrapbook space. Although I have no idea why you need an entire room for paper and glue.
6. I will never hesitate to make dinner - as long as I can use the grill outside. And you bring me a beer.
7. I will always agree you look thin. I'll always agree you look young. I'll always agree you are right.

For women, here are the unspoken vows.
1. I will put up with a dirty nasty toilet seat which never seems to get shut.
2. I will put up with stinky socks and underwear on the floor, that I'll have to pick up.
3. I will learn the hard lesson that I have to remember everything: every appointment, every child's lesson and school function, every grocery list, every bill. And keep schedules and TO DO lists just to keep it straight.
4. I will haul the kids everywhere.
5. I will have to cook chicken thousands of different ways by the time I die.
6. I will feed you dinner and you will like it - even if it's burnt, on sale, or raw.
7. I will expect you to make home improvements in this century. (Don't fool me. I know a hole in the wall does not take a year to patch.)
8. I will always be right. And if I am wrong, I will still always be right.